Self Clearing Diary

'Willingness and Accessibility'

Our aim is to inspire others towards enlightenment via self clearing

It would be too much to take all the buried reaches of the mind and open them up all at once. It would just be too overwhelming. And for this reason, the person keeps himself blocked because he knows that he would be smashed if he opened up the flood gates. But people foolishly keep adding more and more layers of non-confronted things without ever retrieving anything from these hidden areas. The simple solution is to release one thing at a time and gradually open up what has been hidden, exposing things at a rate that the person can tolerate.

Nobody could stand having all of their memories of all lifetimes returned to them in one big blast. But you can do this gradually, opening up the recall bit by bit and restoring the person's identity as an immortal spirit....

...From the broader perspective, there is no way that an immortal spirit could be permanently hurt, and therefore there is no knowledge which could truly harm you. But from the narrow human perspective, one can be afraid of finding out things. So let's practice facing imaginary things so that it will be easier to confront the real ones when they come up. You want to reach the point where you really don't care how frightening or horrible an idea is. Instead, you just want the truth. As Jesus said "The Truth Shall Set You Free".

The Pilot's Self Clearing book - Chapter 7

Sunday 16/8/98

7.1 Willing To Find Out

Run these commands alternately. You can make up things. You can spot things that might potentially be true. You can spot things that you are sure are not true and recognize that if they did turn out to be true, you would be willing to find them out. Get to the point where you would be willing to find out anything, no matter how horrible or bizarre.

7.1a) What would you be willing to find out about yourself
7.1b) What would you be willing to find out about somebody else
7.1c) What would you be willing for somebody else to find out

T - I realised that I'm not willing to find out anything about myself. Without R I wouldn't do it at all. I'm not willing to find out about others, they volunteer information. Besides R, I'm not willing for others to find out things about me. I need a lot of motivation in this department.

Monday 17/8/98

7.2 Finding Out About

7.2a) What would you be willing to find out about your body?
7.2b) What would you be willing to find out about your friends or loved ones?
7.2c) What would you be willing to find out about groups that you are or were a part of?
7.2d) What would you be willing to find out about society?

T - I realised I have the willingness to explore specific items (why my left ear intermittently rings, why my brother can't save money, why women I work with are obsessed with their physical appearance, why society tolerates criminals).

7.3 An Advanced Version

7.3a) What would you be willing to find out about reality?
7.3b) What would you be willing to have another find out about reality?
7.3c) What would you be willing to have others find out about reality?

T - After clearing the word "reality", I realised that the reality I perceive predominantly is not the actual reality and that reality means agreement.

Tuesday 18/8/98

7.4 Being

Now let's expand this a bit further with some more areas where it is important to think freely. At the top of the scale, one will find that he can be or not be anything by choice.

7.4a) What are you willing to be?
7.4b) What are you willing to have another be?
7.4c) What are you willing to have others be?

T - (With help from R) I came to the conclusion that beingness is limitless.  I may never be six feet tall, but I'm willing to be six feet tall. Depending on what day of the week it is/what mood I'm in, I'm willing to be successful or a loser, a good worker or lazy etc. This goes for others also. I'm willing to have another at work be absolutely unbearable so that I can be tolerant.

Wednesday 19/8/98

7.5 Doing

7.5a) What are you willing to do?
7.5b) What are you willing to have another do?
7.5c) What are you willing to have others do?

T - I realised (with R's help yet again) that my answers are all things I am willing to have others do for my benefit.  I know that my first dynamic overrides my third dynamic and needs to be further handled in the justification sandwich processing.

Friday 21/8/98

7.6 Having

7.6a) What are you willing to have?
7.6b) What are you willing to let another have?
7.6c) What are you willing to let others have?

T - I realised I am willing to have or not have things. I had money in the bank for a long time, with too much havingness, not spending any. Now I have spent this money on two home units and have little left in the bank.  I am willing to have ready cash or not.

Saturday 22/8/98

7.7 Agree and Disagree

It is important to be able to agree or disagree at will and not to be stuck compulsively on either side. So run the following commands alternately. Note that it is OK to be both willing to agree with or disagree with the same thing. You can be willing to go either way, and that is the skill we are aiming for.

7.7a) What are you willing to agree with?
7.7b) What are you willing to disagree with?
7.7a) What are you willing to let another person agree with?
7.7b) What are you willing to let another person disagree with?

T - I came up with items that I am able to agree/disagree with eg R buys a lot of gadgets but I disagree with 1) buying too many; 2) spending too much money on them; 3) only using them once or very little. I remembered items that I have disagreed with in the past, which I now agree with, especially food items such as olives, bananas, pumpkin, peas and baked beans. I am now less fussy with what I eat.

Monday 24/8/98

R - I'm back! What trauma! Got sick (`laryngitis') and took a week off work to `recover'. Which was good as I got through quite a bit of (Levitation R/D) processing. But I've just now realised I didn't actually handle the situation from a processing viewpoint as I would have (and did) for T when she `got sick' using Ch 24 - Suppression. However, as things are back to `normal' I'm not concerned enough to do a thorough handling of it at this time.

So, I'm now continuing the Self Clearing as well as doing the Levitation Rundown. Results from the Levitiation Rundown I will write-up separately and they will never see the light of day unless and until I achieve something demonstrable in the physical universe. The data I am (re)discovering in the area of `levitation' is just so incredible, so totally unbelievable and so at odds with accepted earth history that I am only revealing it to one or two close friends. And even with them I say I will not fully accept anything in that area unless and until I can back it up with physical universe demonstration. Besides, that is my purpose for doing this particular rundown in the first place.

Okay, back to the self-clearing. As I said earlier, I am really pleased with T's results. You can see from the above entries how she forged ahead without me. As she said to me yesterday she had no idea what she was getting into when she agreed to a relationship with me three years ago. However, I made my position clear from the start, that I was completely dedicated to `clearing' work. Up to now I have more or less forced her to do the self-clearing. Without it our relationship would collapse because there would just be too great a difference in our realities and purposes. But, as I say, I am thrilled and thankful that the self clearing project is working for T and therefore for both of us, enriching our lives. It hasn't been easy. In fact it's been quite traumatic. But we're making it, and we're getting somewhere. Many, many thanks to The Pilot for making this possible.

Did 7.1 Willing to Find Out and quickly achieved the recognition I am willing to find out anything about anyone, etc, and have others do the same, with the reservation/ understanding they are sane/responsible with such information. Then I realised that `finding out' is related to responsibility level.

Did 7.2 Finding Out About and (after two pages) had to rehab the overrun realisation that one in fact would have more control/cause over a body by being exterior to it rather than in it. Also this process renewed my purpose to find out about a past group I belonged to involved in `surveillance' of this planet in biblical times. In fact I also realised the similarity between that particular operation and scenes from a (black & white?) Jerry Lewis film - A Visit To A Small Planet, which is why it had such an impact on me earlier this lifetime.

Tuesday 25/8/98

R - Did 7.3 An Advanced Version. Ran the commands a,b,c, a, b, c for 37 answers and had the realisation I wanted all people to recognise they are spiritually trapped in the physical universe. Further, that I wanted them to regain their cause over reality by locating and undoing their relevant postulates, implants etc in their past (lifetimes) which are causing them to be trapped in fixed conditions in present time.

Couple of incidental wins. I've caught up with T and managed to do another process on the Levitation Rundown, as well as go jogging and get this all written up today. Oh, nearly forgot. Some hours after doing today's processing I realised I now had the ability to hold two major opposing ideas at the same time, e.g. Yes, there is a god/no there is no god. I had read about this ability years ago but couldn't conceive how it could be possible because it totally defies `logic'. But then LRH said logic `is mainly aberration' (Scientology 8-8008 p47).

This is yet another big breakthrough for me. I thought I was already doing well to be able to hold one viewpoint and then its opposite, often during the course of the same conversation (much to other people's confusion and often my own) but never at the same time. I can have some fun now - yes, earth is a prison planet/no, earth is not a prison planet - yes, I will commit to this organisation forever/no I'm not interested in this organisation - I want to die because this relationship is over/no, I'm ecstatic due to this sudden opportunity to discover new love - Yes, I must be crazy to believe in past lives, exteriorisation etc/No, actually I'm practically mest clear, OT, etc and possess the secrets of life, the universe and everything....and so on.

So this is a very real increase in freedom which should have repercussions across all my dynamics. Once again I am indebted to LRH and to The Pilot.

I also note there is some sort of harmonic/parallel in that two objects may not exist in the same location at the same time, and that one is `not supposed to' maintain two contrary ideas, thus forcing one into one viewpoint or another and thus into conflict with anyone holding the other viewpoint.

T - After a huge upset last weekend, I commenced the victim process (From where could you communicate to a victim?). Today I had a good chat with my boss. I realised that I am feeling like a victim because I am allowing someone to make me feel like this. I could feel the energy flow come off me.  It didn't feel like 'relief', it felt physical. I feel as though I am ready to 'fight' again now. I did a little bit more of the justification sandwich process also. I am still at Enemy on 4D (the fourth dynamic) and I realised that I'm critical of everyone.  It's similar to a reflex action. I am unable to achieve perfection, therefore I can't allow anyone else to achieve it either. For example, Claudia Schiffer is beautiful, but I make fun of her accent. My quest to be `different' has left me in some kid valence, weak and dominated.

R - Following a recurring dramatization by T I got her to look up `victim' in the Tech Dictionary and on the tone scale. This led to `Well, what do I do about it?' and my recalling running the victim process on myself years ago (to see how it worked) resulting in a blown valence/exteriorisation/cognition, etc. Anyway, I helped T do the process and we are both happy with her results. She has said her boss at work has stopped asking `Are you okay?' now.

I've also pointed out to T that it is not okay to stay at `Enemy' on the fourth dynamic (or any dynamic, for that matter).

Wednesday 26/8/98

7.4 Being (What are you willing to be, etc)

R - This ran for four pages until I pushed through the theetie weetie answers such as a willingness to be telepathic, a magician, etc. When I then confronted that I was willing to be a teacher to teach other people a lesson, and was willing for them to be a victim/total effect of that lesson then I knew I was onto something meaty. I recalled again that I had been part of the control operation (the earth as a prison planet idea) but this time I realised that my motivation was as above, to teach people a lesson. It is still very real because I feel it today. Then I realised I was confronting blame and accountability (see tone scale) which has been sitting on my case for eons. I have been holding people`accountable' since what I believed was their refusal to leave mest alone. In fact they were unable to exteriorise from mest (because of the number of agreements with it) but I was too busy making them wrong to notice that. Again LRH was right when he said we (thetans) were stupid. I certainly was.

Thursday 27/8/98

7.5 Doing (What are you willing to do, etc)

R - After only 6 answers I recalled what the Commander of the `Prison Planet' operation had given as the reason why earth needed `populating' rapidly. He'd said there were lots of beings (thetans) coming and so many more bodies were required. I and others involved in the operation assumed they were coming for `holiday' reasons or something like that. I just now realised that the incoming beings had been made `accountable' for actions against `The System' and were in fact being sent on a one-way ticket to earth - a prison sentence. Well, that's my reality and it keeps coming up with more and more data. It then occurred to me that China's current one-child policy is somehow connected with that original population operation.

7.6 Having (What are you willing to have, etc)

After 9 answers I realised I could now finally accept my own sentence (to prison planet earth), and let others have their sentences. You see, I've been blaming people for their ignorance, bad manners, ignorance of their spirituality, past lives, etc, while not-ising the reason for their present condition. Now I see they're already being punished. They're here. (Hence the popularity of prison movies, life in prison, escapes from prison, etc.)

Hey, I know the Prison Planet idea may not be popular with some people. But I didn't invent it. And I'm only giving you what is true for me at this point in time. But my recalls keep getting stronger and more certain along those lines. If it is my delusion then I hope I resolve it as I progress through the Self Clearing. But if some poor sod reading this diary has ever suffered due to UFO/alien abduction/space opera or related phonomena and wanted to get to the bottom of it, then this just may open a door for them. If this sort of thing does not `indicate' to you then please ignore it.

However, shortly after I wrote the above paragraph I read a message on the IVy subscribers list - here is an extract:

>What if your partner's spiritual path was completely opposite to yours?
>Born again Christian? Devil Worshipper whatever..

Same as above. No foundation for a relationship.

In order to come close to me, a person must be big enough to span at least the last few thousand years of history - the time since the aliens implanted the last big cultural paradigm which is reigning now - the Christian paradigm with the Bible as its center and all the patterns in culture, art and literature that have been coined by it.

Spanning this time, any case-situation of a person who shows up in daily life (or a session) can immediately be duplicated and deeply understood - which again allows us to ask the right question for the person to come to important realizations.

There are many lovely beings around, with a constructive attitude and positive motivation, whom I admire and with whom I would work. But for a relationship of the type we had been discussing, a person must be exterior to human history. Otherwise there would simply be not enough reality for a real closeness.

I know that this is very far away from the original topic we had, the second dynamic and tactile communication. But this is only one (rather small) part of a real spiritual merging, which (for me) would be necessary to act as a unity.


"You shall know them by their fruits." (The Bible)

Thanks for your thoughts, HB. Your words are like music to my ears and I hope you don't mind them appearing in our diary. Oh, and here is some more feedback on our diary:

Subject: GuestBook
Entry Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1998 08:58:52 -0700
From: Paul Misiunas <>

Found this in the freezoneamerica GuestBook, thought you might enjoy it: ===============================

Well this site certainly gave me a new view of Scientology and the church. The self clearing things are of real interest to me and a big thanks to R and T for the diary.

Was this site helpful?: yes
Changes/additions to site: not at present
Name: Cosmic Boy
[Wednesday, August 19, 1998 at 03:31:14 (PDT)] ===============================

All the best - Paul

- - - F r e e Z o n e America - - - PO Box 3093 * Kingman, AZ 86402-3093
Visit us at:

Well, thank you very much `Cosmic Boy' for your validation - We appreciate it very much and we wish you well in your own clearing work. And thank you, Paul, for forwarding the message, and for all your marvellous work in maintaining our diary on the freezoneamerica website. We read the message board again recently - there's a lot more stuff there now! Fantastic!

Friday 28/8/98

7.7. Agree and Disagree

Of this process The Pilot says:

Note that it is OK to be both willing to agree with or disagree with the same thing. You can be willing to go either way, and that is the skill we are aiming for.

Well, it seems I obtained this result earlier (see 7.3 above), but let's see what happens with this process.

After 7 answers I realised we can agree with trends (in society) or disagree with them. I realised that disagree = resist. I realised if you disagree/resist then there is consequence (and vice versa). For example I disagreed with ATMs (Automatic Teller Machines) for many months before deciding to embrace `new technology'. Now I feel in tune with contemporary society (not resisting), am now computer literate, (computer super literate compared to most). Now I have a fuller understanding of `When in Rome, do as the Romans do', and life `following the path of least resistance', etc.

Then I spotted that when younger I could not tolerate (have) the idea of girls not liking me. Then some years ago, after much processing this aberration keyed-out and I invited a lovely lady to begin a relationship with me. She declined (disagreed) but I didn't go effect of that. I said I understood, but that the invitation remained and she could let me know if she changed her mind. Two days later she said she'd thought it over and now felt it was a great idea. Unfortunately I had by then keyed-in again and could no longer have the idea of a relationship at that time.

So, as a result of this process I now see how I've been sabotaging myself by compulsively disagreeing across the dynamics and by not allowing others the freedom to choose to disagree with me (not granting them beingness). Also I see that disagreement is in fact resistance (not-isness) and can result in failure and ruins in one's life when done unknowingly/compulsively/reactively.

This extends to the importance of clearing words in Scientology (or any subject, for that matter). Obviously someone who cannot explain the meanings of words such as spirit, cognition, as-is, service facsimile, whole track, etc, will automatically resist/disagree with Scientology. It's a simple mechanical reaction. And vice versa - when someone finally does get the understanding of a particular misunderstood (disagreed with/resisted) word then suddenly/magically/amazingly they can have/agree with the subject. They stop resisting it. I 've been through this cycle every single time with T's `disagreements' , as well as countless times with others in `discussion' about Scientology.

Super Cognition! Basically, I can now have disagreement. This follows from the ability to hold two opposing viewpoints/ideas/opinions at the same time! What a wonderful new freedom! (Thanks again, LRH, and thanks, Pilot!). I've long had the ability to resolve others' disagreements by finding and clearing their misunderstood words (it always works, as LRH says), but it was motivated by my inability to accept their disagreement/s. Now I can have them.

Result. Shortly after the above process, as I walked out to buy some lunch, I realised I was `exterior'. I knew I was separate from my body/mind/brain/name/etc and realised my body was simply a terminal for the giving and receiving of communications. I know LRH has described it as such, but I never expected to experience it. The state ended when I opened my mouth to talk to somebody, but it was a delicious break from the mest universe while it lasted.

Saturday 29/8/98

7.8 Change

Tolerance for change and no-change is also important.

7.8a) What would you be willing to have change?
7.8b) What would you be willing to have remain the same?

T - After a page of responses I was able to come up with the same answer for both questions (what would you be willing to have change/what would you be willing to have remain the same). My response was "my attitude towards having children." Before meeting R and doing self-clearing I could never see myself having children. However, I now see the possibility of changing my attitude.

Wednesday 2/9/98

7.9 In a Crowded Place

Spot people and for each one, think of something that you'd be willing for them to find out

R - Immediately bumped into a telepathic awareness as the process had me actually confronting others' universes/minds. Next I realised I didn't want people finding out something about me, in particular something I'm aware is considered socially unacceptable and so I have to hide it. The win is realising this `withhold' is affecting my communication with others, blocking my path to freedom, etc. Of course now I have to confront and handle the withhold to complete the action, but that will be another process.

T - I did this process coming from work on the train. My first thoughts were those that I wanted people to find out about me. My win was then concentrating on one person and coming up with several items that I wanted him to find out that weren't related to me eg how beneficial tai chi is.

Thursday 3/9/98

7.10 Afraid To Find Out

It has been said that the greatest fear is fear itself. Fear of something unknown is far more horrible than fear of something which one understands. Being afraid that there is a dreadful truth just around the corner makes one afraid to look, and that will leave you haunted by shadows which would dissipate if they were only exposed to the light of day. So lets make up some horrible things which you might find out. Run this to the point where you can laugh about it and are not worried about the consequences of discovering some dreadful thing.

a) Think of or invent a horrible "truth" that you might find out.
b) What would be the consequences of that?

R - Mmm, I found I was having cognitions with each b) command of the process, in one case getting a clear picture of an incident (god knows when) explaining a current desire which was acceptable behaviour back then, but contrary to society's standards now. This gave me a clear understanding of why often someone cannot accept they have done something `wrong'. They may simply be at odds with today's standards. Obvious examples would be trying to explain to a doctor a hundred years ago why he should wash his hands before and after dealing with patients. Or why homosexuality was a crime in law not thirty years ago (and still is, in some places) whereas now society actively defends it. Or inter-racial marriages, etc, etc, etc.

I continued the process, with this understanding becoming clearer and clearer, then realised I was overrunning it and the high point was the earlier picture explaining my behaviour today, because I'd been looking for that answer for quite a few years.

Friday 4/9/98

7.10 Afraid To Find Out

T - I realised that past lives, which I haven't touched on greatly, have shaped me now. I came up with a huge area. I may find out that I've killed or injured people in my past lives. This explains why I don't like people and why I continue to be re-stimulated on things such as flogging.

R - Later, T said she'd been `feeling sick' lately so used Appendix B : Correction List
as a general clean-up action. Reading through the items she eliminated all except 29. As the handling is Chapter 24: Suppression T was briefly confused (as she'd already done this previously) until I indicated it could be done as often as necessary as different people can affect us at different times. As it was getting late T was happy to begin the suppression handling tomorrow.


R - People, especially at work, often remark on how cheerful or `up' I seem to be, compared to others. How does one explain a condition of being chronically keyed-out as a result of daily processing? How to explain that each day of Self Clearing is adventure beyond the boundaries of agreed upon `reality', a spiritual journey par excellence that has one humming with joy most of the time?

On the outside I may have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep - too many hours maintaining this diary or surfing the net - yet there I go singing, whistling, smiling, telling jokes. Why haven't I succumbed to the daily grind, old age, RSI, rheumatism, etc, etc? How to explain that Self Clearing can put you in control of all that stuff?

Well, this diary is my message of hope. I don't feel obliged to spend hours talking to people who are not ready to listen - `they have ears to hear and they do not' (Lamentations - Bible).

We found this yet another brilliant chapter from The Pilot - it has definitely improved T's willingness and accessibility in that I don't have to `force' her to do processing any more. It has become part of our daily routine, like brushing one's teeth, to `do a process', and has enriched our lives immeasurably. She is noticeably more self determined, especially since doing the `victim process' recently.

I could go on but I don't want to bore you too much - so on with the next chapter...

(End Self Clearing Diary Ch 7)

Back to Diary Chapter 6

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