20Self Clearing Diary
Chapter20
Here we are going to try and take a step further out of the struggle and conflict
that is often the anatomy of life.
But the idea here is not to disconnect and turn your back on things but instead to move up out of the mud into
higher levels of beauty and interest.
The Pilot's Self Clearing book - Chapter 20
Monday 27/12/99
20.1 The process is to close your eyes and spot places where you are not. Spot many many places.
This is to some degree a trick question because in checking that you are not somewhere, you tend to look at it and you will find that your exterior perceptions improve as you do this. But this drill is also practicing truth, because you were never really located anywhere in the first place. Its only a game that beings play, pretending to be in the locations where they perceive or operate.
Continue this until you feel that you are exterior
T - I realised I'm not in other places only because I've put restrictions on what I can do, whether it be matter, energy, space or time eg I'm not at my mother's house becuse I choose to be in my own house, I'm not on an overseas holiday because I don't like living out of a suitcase. At this stage I have a barrier to exteriorisation which only I can deal with.
Wednesday 29/12/99
20.2 Attacking
Look around a large city or populated area using an exterior viewpoint. Alternate these commands, spotting a few people on each one before going on to the next one.
a) Spot some people who are not attacking you
b) Spot some people that you are not attacking
c) Spot some people who are not attacking each other
T - I feel as I've become older the circle of attack just gets bigger and bigger. People are in constant
attack as a form of self-defence. It's like being blindfolded waving a big stick to get people out of the way.
It's random but required (we think) for survival. I don't attack those who don't form part of my immediate circle.
20.3 Hatred
Look around a large city or populated area using an exterior viewpoint. Alternate these commands, spotting a few people on each one before going on to the next one.
a) Spot some people who do not hate you
b) Spot some people who you do not hate
c) Spot some people who don't hate each other
T - I realised that I'm getting consumed by hate towards people. As I realised earlier today, it's hard for me to just accept things, I want to constantly ridge against it. If I just accept that my family is as it is maybe I'll have less resentment. I've got to accept that they're the only ones who can change themselves.
Thursday 30/12/99
20.4 Orders
(a) Spot some people who are not giving you orders
(b) Spot some people who you are not giving orders to
(c) Spot some people who are not giving orders to others
(d) Spot some people who are not receiving orders from others
(e) Spot some people who are not giving orders to themselves
T - I realised that for me "order" has a bad connotation, like it's being put at effect, which I thought was bad. Without order there would be chaos.
20.5 Beautiful Things
(a) Spot some things that are beautiful to look at
(b) Spot some things that another would find beautiful to look at
(c) Spot some people who are looking at beautiful things
(d) Spot some people who are showing others beautiful things
T - Things are designed to be beautiful as a trap to keep us needing them. Poker machines have flashing lights and noise and colour. A beer has a light colour and bubbles. Clothes are bright and noticeable. I've realised that salespeople are only interested in their first dynamic and will try to make a sale no matter what. By the same token, people are gullible and easily sucked in by beauty. if we didn't have a need for it it wouldn't exist. That's why there are supermodels and most actors/actresses these days have to look attractive as well as pretend to be someone else.
20.6 Safe
(a) Spot some places where you would be safe
(b) Spot some places where another would be safe
(c) Spot some places where your body would be safe
(d) Spot some places where others bodies would be safe
T - It's as though all the things I came up with (such as behind walls/doors/fences) can only keep the body safe temporarily. Eventually one has to venture out into the world and that's when safety becomes an issue, although it's something that few people consider except police, security guards, parents etc.
Saturday 1/1/00
20.7 Games
(a) Spot a desirable game
(b) Spot an undesirable game
T - I realised that anything below Desire on the CDEINR scale was "undesirable", such as enforced communication, making someone else feel inhibited, no intention to listen or understand, refusing a child permission to do something.
20.8 Games
(a) What game would you be willing to play
(b) What game would another be willing to play
(c) What game would you be willing to let another play
T - I've realised that now I've decided to stop ridging and accepting things I'm willing to play games associated with that ie I'm a participant in someone else's game instead of being in my own aberrative game.
Saturday 8/1/00
20.9 Inventing Games
(a) Invent a desirable game
(b) Invent an undesirable game
T - One of my responses for (b) was "doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing". This is the same as victim status and I've been guilty of this in the past, usually as a way to get attention or due to my reactive mind.
Wednesday 26/1/00
20.10 Goals
(a) Think of some goals you do not have
(b) Think of some goals that others do not have
(c) Think of some goals that you don't have for another person
(d) Think of some goals that another person doesn't have for you
(e) Think of some goals that another person doesn't have for others
T - I realised that there's goals to have and have not happening on both sides of the equation. I may have a goal to be wealthy and R has a goal to spend money and have things. I have a better understanding of GPM now.
20.11 More on Goals
(a) Think of a desirable goal
(b) Think of an undesirable goal
(c) Think of a goal that others would find desirable
(d) Think of a goal that others would find undesirable
T - We're caught up in a desirable goal of winning and we've taken that to extremes, where being a freak is a good thing, violence, acting awards, beating someone to get on the train. Life is all about competition, which is why sport plays a big part.
Saturday 29/1/00
20.12 Emotions
T - I had to look enthusiasm up in a dictionary. Realised that it is something I can mock up although I am not often enthusiastic. I found the lower levels easier to mock up and reach and withdraw and several of my mock ups were emotions of children, which I feel in sync with. It helped to have a good attitude today towards the self-clearing.
20.13 Control
(a) What would you be willing to control
(b) What would you be willing to leave uncontrolled
(c) What wuld you be willing to have another control
(d) What would you be willing to have another leave uncontrolled
(e) What would another be willing to control
(f) What would another be willing to leave uncontrolled
T - I realised that control starts with the first dynamic. It's such a button for me. I feel like I can't control any of the dynamics. This makes me weak and lacking in self-esteem, too worried that I will offend people.
Sunday 30/1/00
20.14 Awareness
Spot people and postulate greater awareness into them
T - I felt I had to push my awareness in. It's just a case of the right amount of intention to achieve awareness for others. I felt by recently telling a smoker he shouldn't be smoking in a non-smoking area postulated more awareness. I've done that before with people who carry umbrellas like weapons.
20.15 Doing Better
Spot people and postulate that they will do better in life
T - I thought "better than what?" For some people I think they can do better in life without my postulate. If you postulate strongly without losing focus or reacting then it should be possible. I can see how I am capable of influencing other people just by my outlook/attitude. If I postulate that they will do better in life then it follows that I will also, as I will be as high toned as I have made them.
R - I haven't written my results here yet because this chapter is written after T attains CLEAR in chapter 22 and I wanted to get this posted ASAP.
(These pages still under construction as at May 2000)
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