The Release Technique
by Peter Shepherd
One technique we have found profoundly effective is a process of consciously and intentionally releasing emotions as they arise - a technique developed by Lester Levinson. In essence, Levinson found that people have three usual ways of handling a feeling:
- The first way is to suppress the feeling. But suppressed feelings don't go away - they build up and fester inside, causing anxiety, tension, depression, and a host of stress-related problems. The repressed energy (or 'charge') these suppressed feelings create eventually drives you to behave in ways you don't like or understand, and which you cannot control.
- The second way is to express the feeling. By 'blowing up' or losing our tempers we relieve the pressure of the accumulated emotions. This can feel good because it puts the feeling into action - but it doesn't get rid of the feeling, it simply relieves the pressure of it momentarily. Negative emotions may also be unpleasant for the person on the receiving end, which in turn causes more distress and guilt.
- The third common way to cope with feelings is by attempting to avoid the issue by attending instead to distractions - by talking, watching TV, eating, smoking, drinking, taking drugs, having sex, etc. But despite our attempts to escape them, the feelings are still there - and still take their toll in the form of stress.
But there is another option for handling a feeling - you can focus on it, fully experience it, and then let go of it: release it, discharge it. This is the healthiest way to handle a feeling that is consuming us. We've all had the experience of being in the midst of an emotional explosion and then suddenly began to laugh at ourselves, realising how silly or inappropriate or useless our behaviour is. In other words we became conscious.
Typical feelings include the following:
- Apathy and related feelings such as bored, careless, cold, cut-off, dead, defeated, depressed, discouraged, disillusioned, drained, forgetful, futile, hopeless, humourless, indecisive, indifferent, lazy, lost, negative, numb, overwhelmed, resigned, shocked, stuck, tired, worthless, etc.
- Grief and related feelings such as abandoned, abused, accused, anguished, ashamed, betrayed, cheated, embarrassed, helpless, hurt, ignored, left out, longing, loss, melancholy, misunderstood, neglected, pity, poor me, regret, rejection, remorse, sad, unhappy.
- Fear and related feelings such as anxious, apprehensive, cautious, cowardly, doubt, dread, foreboding, inhibited, insecure, nervous, panicky, scared, secretive, shaky, shy, sceptical, stage-fright, suspicious, tense, trapped, worried.
- Compulsive feelings of anticipation, craving, demanding, desiring, devious, driven, envy, frustrated, greed, impatient, manipulative, lust, need, obsessed, pushy, ruthless, selfish; wanting desperately to have or to hurt; needing security, control, acceptance or approval; need to be right, to make another wrong.
- Anger and related feelings such as aggressive, annoyed, argumentative, defiant, demanding, disgusted, fierce, frustrated, furious, hatred, impatience, jealous, mad, mean, outraged, rebellious, resentment, rude, spiteful, stern, stubborn, vengeful, vicious, violent.
- Pride and related feelings such as aloof, arrogant, boastful, clever, contemptuous, cool, critical, judgemental, righteous, rigid, self-satisfied, snobbish, spoiled, superior, unforgiving, vain.
- Courage and related feelings such as adventurous, alert, aware, competent, confident, creative, daring, decisive, eager, happy, independent, loving, motivated, open, positive, resourceful, self-sufficient, strong, supportive, vigorous.
- Acceptance and related feelings such as balance, beauty, compassion, delight, empathy, friendly, gentle, joyful, loving, open, receptive, secure, understanding, wonder.
- Peace and related feelings such as calm, centered, complete, free, fulfilled, perfect, pure, quiet, serene, tranquil, whole.
[Note: some are positive feelings - it is important to release on even very good feelings such as peace, serenity, love and courage, for driving these feelings are sometimes hidden wants, desires of the Ego. When you release these good feelings you feel a physical and emotional release, just as when you release negative feelings. What lies behind the emotion is something even better, an imperturbable serenity, the Higher Self.]
Move on to Release Technique - Procedure.
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