Self Clearing Diary
If we inspire others to do clearing work then we have achieved our aim
Up to this point, we have mainly worked with techniques that kept your attention focused externally. Even when dealing with "subjective" things such as emotions, we have used the trick of projecting them into external objects.
There is also a need to deal with subjective things directly. However, this tends to place one's attention inward instead of outward. This presents no problem when working with a skilled practitioner. But you need to be aware of some things to do this with benefit on a solo basis. First and foremost, it does you no good to get into a big figure figure and head scratching. You must emphasize things that you are positive of and state obvious answers because it builds up a forward momentum and a degree of certainty which will carry you over the rough spots.
Let's use an innocuous process as an example. The process command will be "think of a fruit". Now you write down the answers so as to get this outside of you rather than becoming too interiorized. You think for a moment and come up with an obvious answer such as "an apple" and write it down. You think a bit more and suddenly you can think of lots of them and it comes easily and you feel good about thinking of fruits and you have mastered the area and you are done.
Of course this is an example without any mental charge on it, so that it is immediately mastered. If there were mental charge, then there would be some difficulty and resistance to doing the command at least for the first few times, and you must learn to persist through this because the charge and mental barriers dissolve as you keep pushing forward.
But you can derail yourself by going off into a long figure figure about something that doesn't even answer the question. You start wondering if a rhubarb is a fruit or a vegetable. Then you ask yourself if you like rhubarb pie and are unsure of that. Then you start thinking about baking pies in general. And soon you are way off of the question. And if the question does have some mental "charge" on it, there is a tendency to bounce off of it and think about something else rather than pushing through the charge.
When running a process, you must concentrate on saying "It is a ..." rather than musing too long on "What is it?". For convince, we abbreviate these to ITSA (it is a) and WHATSIT. You must always maintain more ITSA than WHATSIT when running a process, otherwise you can get buried under too much uncertainty. Rather than swimming around in the uncertainty of the things you don't know, you build up an expanding base of what you can confront and are certain of.
The processing question itself already introduces one uncertainty. You can add a bit more, but not too much. You could wonder briefly whether a rhubarb is a fruit (WHATSIT?). But then you'd better decide one way or the other or simply decide that you don't know and might look it up later if you feel like it. Simply knowing for certain that you don't know is enough of a positive statement to keep you moving forward.
Occasionally you find out later that you were wrong (you decided that a rhubarb really was a fruit and its not), but if you build up a great deal of rightness, you can tolerate the occasional mistake. The idea is not to struggle for absolute truth and perfection but simply to build better and better bases to stand on as you climb upwards.
Now simply for practice, take out your notebook and run "think of a fruit" on yourself, writing down the answers. This will probably not produce any great revelation or new awareness, but it will give you a little practice before doing a real process. Continue until you feel good about doing it.
The Pilot's Self Clearing book - Chapter 4
Now let's try a real process.
4.1a) Think of something you wouldn't mind remembering.
4.1b) Think of something you wouldn't mind forgetting.
These commands are alternated. Write them at the top of a page in your notebook along with the numbers (so that you can find where you got them from if you look back later). Then just right A) or B) on the page when you ask yourself the question and put down a brief summary of the answer.
At first the answers might be hard to find and take a long time. Then maybe you have a couple of easy answers as you get the idea of how to do the process. But then it gets hard again as you run out of easy answers and need to look more deeply. You push at it a bit harder and suddenly something gives way and you feel that you have had an improvement in your memory or you realize something about why you tend to forget things. This is the point to stop at.
R - Brilliant! Having `tried' this process some years ago (and not taking it to a win believing meter, auditor, etc, were needed) began doing it myself while helping T to do it also. Finally got T started on the most successful practice I've ever come across in self-clearing work. I had stumbled on it many years ago and have used it successfully ever since. As the Pilot describes in the introduction to this chapter - Now you write down the answers so as to get this outside of you rather than becoming too interiorized.'
Literally EVERY process run using this technique has resulted in EP (end phenomena) for me. Admittedly I could be considered to be at an advanced level now where I can handle whatever comes up and therefore make gains from almost anything run. However I stumbled onto the method and `went track' with resultant gains after only a year or so into scn, long before attaining the state of `Clear'.
Anyway, T and I did process 4.1 to a `flat' point deciding to continue it at a later time. Personally I'm overjoyed to even have a crack at this one as I've had a `memory problem' for many, many years (especially with names, phone numbers, etc), despite being able to recall `past lives' and incidents easily.
T - During the introduction to this chapter I had a win in that there are four necessary items involved in an EP. I did not realise there had to be all four. I commenced the process and listed more items than I thought I was able to. Some even had the same theme (eg wouldn't mind forgetting being hit and seeing my brother being hit by the same person). I feel that I have a pretty good memory (sometimes too good) and I tended to place more emphasis on things which I would prefer to forget.
T - R and I had had a bit of difficulty with our comm line and I felt upset. This was due to me being obsessed over a rash that I had picked up on the back of my legs. We did the Corrections List and I felt better. I realised that I have a permanent ARCX with no affinity about myself due to self-invalidation. This is brought on when things are physically not perfect. One of my resolutions this year is to not give myself a hard time, and I again decided to follow this through.
R - Yes, noticed T not gung ho about continuing 4.1 Remembering and Forgetting so decided to use Correction List (Appendix B) again. Mainly letting her `itsa' to each pertinent question till she was laughing and cheerful again. Earlier I sat down and wrote more answers to 4.1, but feel it's not complete though some long-forgotten memories are coming up meanwhile.
T - Continued Rembering and Forgetting process. After coming up with a few more items that I would like to remember and forget, I was able to get the EP. I don't want to forget these things, I just want the charge removed. I have lots of havingness, even on negative items. The remembering things aren't important. If they were important I'd remember them. I've been having trouble this week whilst I have had a week off work. I have been grieving over my father's recent death and been generally upset with life. I've been giving R a hard time.
R - Still going on the process, doing about an hour or so.
R - Phew, finally finished 4.1 Remembering and Forgetting. Took 8 pages of answers to get THE answer, which for me came from a life as a yogi in India. When I first recalled this past life it blew a psychosomatic condition which doctors call non specific urethritis and soldiers call clap. On this process I recalled that my guru discouraged remembering, rewarding me for forgetting (with admiration and attention), the idea being to create a blank state of mind. Since then when I want/need to remember I run smack into those counter postulates, which were super `survival' at that time. It certainly accounts for my chronic `memory problem' to date, not to mention fascination with India, yoga, etc. Also, having confronted this `impairment' to my memory there is greater appreciation for T's memory. She's won numerous competitions (including an overseas trip) as a result of her knowledge of `trivia'. In fact, a powerful memory is recognised as a `sidhi' or advanced yoga skill, and as one of man's `superpowers' by Ingo Swann. Despite these wins I know there's something deeper and this is only a key-out.
Process 4.2 Agree and Disagree
You need to be free to choose what you want to agree and disagree with and you need the freedom to change your mind.
4.2a) Find something you disagree with
4.2b) Find something you agree with
R - Doing other clearing processing on `off' days which I won't go into because it's not covered in Pilot's Self Clearing. The point is, though, that it is generally believed clearing processes can only be done with the help of a trained practitioner using an electronic device (e-meter). Perhaps as a result of giving and receiving much formal clearing for some years I can now `go it alone' confidently. However, as mentioned in an earlier chapter of this diary, I discovered processes could be run on oneself successfully with only basic knowledge (as covered in the Self Clearing book) by simply writing down one's answers to the processing question and continuing to a good point (win).
Furthermore, although in the middle of the above mentioned `other' processing I sat down with T and did 4.2 Agree and Disagree. We wrote down our answers to `Find something you disagree with' and `Find something you agree with'. Started at 8.40pm. Had some discussion during process to help clarify some things that came up for T, then continued to 9pm when I completed the process - had realisations such as I (and therefore everyone else) have agreements and disagreements (yes, that's at the same time!) with almost everything. For example, I agree with President Clinton (he looks nice, speaks well, etc) but I disagree with his personal moral behaviour. Anyway, as a result of this process I now have the freedom of choice to be able to agree or disagree about something/anything. Not only that, but I can agree/disagree with something/someone at the same time. Furthermore, I now have the freedom to change my mind about something/anything as I choose. Result? Increased personal freedom. Nice one. Thanks Pilot. Of course because T hasn't completed the process yet I didn't discuss my results with her.
T - I came up with a long list of items with which I agree and disagree. We did not complete the process.
Friday 5 /6/98
T - I continued with listing items with which I agree and disagree. An ARCX arose as I disagree with what I see in the mirror (the body doesn't belong to the mind). I initially thought this was due to no affinity but I came up with enforced reality. Currently I lack the ability to go earlier/similar past this lifetime. We left the process here with R indicating that he would run the Correction List on the next occasion.
R - Worked through Correction List discussing relevant items until T said she was ready to continue 4.2.
T - We went through the Correction List and stopped at number 13, "Trying to process over out-rudiments." I mentioned a present time problem which has become worse recently and that is a ringing in the left ear, which I usually experience at night. I am now experiencing this during the day. We did not continue with the Agree/Disagree process at this stage.
R - (Waiting for T to complete 4.2 Agree and Disagree.)
T - I listed another 54 items with which I agree and disagree and I feel ready for the next process.
T - Work has been difficult since the long weekend. I'm lacking control. I began the Importances process. I came up with a win on money. To me it's important for survival and as a means to an end, however it is only paper, it's wasted on gambling and buying junk and we give it away to charity. I noticed I listed the more important items first (eg survival, food) and the less important items came later (eg being informed of world news).
You need to be able to assign greater or lesser importances to things. This is your free choice and you can change your mind.
4.3a) Decide that something is important
4.3b) Decide that something is unimportant
R - Did about 6 pages of answers on process 4.3 Importances until acknowledged it was well and truly `overrun'. Like, there were realisations all the way through it, and I could have just kept going. (Then a couple of days later I `forgot' I'd done it and was about to do it again and said to T `Well, I''ll do this process anyway although I've got no problem at all assigning importances to things'. So obviously I had gotten, or rehabilitated, the required result.
R - Decided to do more process 1.3 Applying the Attention Process to the body (I think of it as OT touch assist) for chronic stomach problems, mainly `reflux', biliousness, etc. occurring nearly every night for last month or so. Pushed through dope off/sleepiness a few times because really needed relief and then suddenly started to feel body organs as energy bodies. This was a big, big, big, unexpected breakthrough. Realised this was `psychic healing/psychic surgery' level. (This was what I expected when I first got involved with Scn, so very ironic it results from Free Zone activity. So this process really is an OT touch assist now). The result? Nothing `wrong' with my stomach in the first place. Realised I'd been eating too much, force-feeding to aid body-building lifestyle (includes 60 sit-ups daily which was `shrinking' stomach). Stopped over-eating and `stomach problem' cleared up within 24 hours.
(Update 17/6/98 - no stomach problems since)
Process 4.4 Affinity
4.4a) Think of something that you might like
4.4b) Think of something that another or others might like
R - Reached result in 5 minutes of beginning process. Realised had much more in common with other people than previously believed - more affinity. Then understood that because of early this lifetime invalidation (mainly from parents) I'd decided I was different to others, and this put me out of ARC (Affinity, Reality, Communication) with others (mankind).
T - I made a long list of what I might like (ie what I have not yet experienced) and what others might like. I came up with others might like to queue on the train platform for a seat. I don't like diong this as I feel it's a waste of energy as everyone gets a seat, but I can see how it's all some people have to enjoy so they're manic about it. My cognition is that I can see how although I do not have affinity for some things that others do and vice versa.
Process 4.5 Thought
Just find something to think about each of these things in rotation. It doesn't have to be right or wrong or important or trivial or anything else. Just have a thought about each thing in turn on a causative basis. The emphasis is simply on affirming that you are in control of what you think about
4.5a) Think about matter
4.5b) Think about energy
4.5c) Think about space
4.5d) Think about time
R - After much clearing experience there tends to occur realisations about anything one's attention is directed to, and with this current Self Clearing book there is continually increasing understanding of where one is headed with any process. So cognitions occurred with each command (`Think about matter', `Think about energy', Think about space', `Think about time') until the realisation occurred that there was so much control over thought my chosen thoughts were actually anchored in the theta (thought) universe, and that my cognitions were the result of observing what then occurred, e.g. extraneous thoughts blowing off, related thoughts coming into alignment, etc, with any such `anchored' thought.
T - I found this process a challenge as I did not know what I should get out of it. I realised that MEST is in everything on a very basic molecular scale. I believe too much emphasis is placed on MEST (eg personal belongings, stress, high ceilings, being early for appointments). This cognition was reached by control over my thoughts.
R - Phew, another chapter completed. I really hope our efforts inspire others to commit to the Pilot's gift to us all. I have now noticed others posting their Self Clearing results on the internet and that is really gratifying. Here are some things that come to mind at this point.
* The importance of writing down one's answers to processing questions while self clearing
or solo auditing cannot be overemphasised.
* Time spent doing any valid processing is quality time and must be given priority over watching TV, gossiping, net surfing, etc, but it's okay to enjoy time-out after any wins and/or gains.
* Don't overlook physical causes of problems - don't assume everything requires a `processing' solution.
* Keep basics in - food, sleep, vitamins, no drugs, don't drink too much alcohol, regular exercise.
On a philosophical note...
R - Physical death occurs to all of us. Those who take this fact lying down (excuse the pun) are already dead - spiritually dead, that is. They cannot recall previous lifetimes, therefore they expect no future lifetime, therefore there is only this lifetime for them. It's one of the saddest, sickest jokes man plays on himself. I've known for 20 years now that processing such as that found in Self Clearing is a valid solution for this dilemma. One can awaken to one's true spiritual condition and then work to improve it. Each self clearing process is a step on that path.
Meanwhile, T does not yet have this knowledge, only some `theory' and my wild raves, so although she is making progress she is doing it tough. It is not at all wine and roses for us as I have to maintain the pressure to keep us moving when things seem hopeless for her. There are things she wants resolved, long-term chronic conditions etc, that (obviously to me) stem from earlier lifetimes or other spiritual causes. So I encourage her - well, okay, insist - that she keep going until she does reach a point where such things can be reached. Fortunately Chapter 6 - Confronting The Past is coming up and I am expecting her to have some serious, but well- deserved, results. And Chapter 5 - Study shouldn't take long as we've worked on study areas previously and T has had major wins on clearing words, etc.
Finally, I've discovered a remarkably increased ability to do self processing and get results. After years of giving and receiving processing using an electronic device I believed it was impossible to successfully do clearing without one. After a few chapters of the Pilot's Self Clearing book I have also now had excellent results doing extremely high level processes which are available on the internet. These processes traditionally require highly trained practitioners, expensive e-meters, and cost many thousands of dollars at certain organisations.
Many (as I did) pay the price of financial ruin, which in turn affects the rest of one's life. Having been there and done that I see The Pilot's free Self Clearing book as a genuine attempt to help the majority of people toward enlightenment, spiritual advancement and freedom.
(End Self Clearing Diary Ch 4)
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