19Self Clearing Diary
Chapter19
This pattern of committing unmotivated Overt acts and then receiving subsequent Motivators where the same harm happens to oneself is called the Overt-Motivator sequence and is, to all intents and purposes, the actual mechanism of the Karma that is described in eastern practices. But we have a higher view of this mechanism, namely that the karma is not imposed from outside. The person imposes it upon himself.
Using The Pilot's Self Clearing book - Chapter 19
Thursday 2/12/99
T - Before beginning the chapter I decided to write up some overts/withholds on R, his parents and my mother. With my mother my bigget overt has been aberrated communication. It has been at inhibited or lower on the CDEINR scale since I can remember. I haven't been able to communicate difficulties I've had with her and the overts persist as I haven't taken enough responsibility. Regarding R, I've made him believe that I can change and improve but I don't know whether I can. Regarding R's parents, I haven't accepted them as going hand in hand with R. I don't have affinity for them as I'm not willing to share the same space as them.
(R - Update December 2000. T does change and improve. She achieves Clear in chapter 22).
Friday 3/12/99
At basic, reality is nothing more than a shared illusion projected by the spirit
19.1 (a) Recall a time that was pleasant both for you and somebody else
(b) Run through the experience from their viewpoint, trying to feel how they might have felt
T - I realised that I've inspired people to become frustrated because of my slack attitude, inability to solve my own problems and strong views.
Others' Sensations
19.2 The drill is to feel and experience things from other people's viewpoints
T - (not performed at this time)
Karma
In actual fact this mechanism is not helpful and does not even improve one's morality. The balancing retribution generally strikes at times so far removed from the original overts that no learning or improvement in behavior takes place.
If you have any qualms about undoing a mechanism of retribution, please realize that you will get much better behavior from somebody who can experience things from other's viewpoints than you will from somebody who has been browbeaten by a mechanism which never did work properly.
19.3 (a) Visualise a time where you harmed someone (b) Run through the experience from their viewpoint, trying to feel how they might have felt
T - My viewpoint of some harmful things I've done is that it was done accidentally. I've realised that when I was growing up my self-control and responsibility was poor. I'm now trying to make up for it, taking more responsibility. I also feel that if I hit someone in ninjutsu class they should hit me back with equal force (similar to that martial art theory about being sidelined for the same time as the person you've injured).
19.4 The Victim's Side
This non-confront and pulling in of the opposite side can also happen to the victim. People often dramatize what was done to them by doing it to others.
T - I felt like in this process I was getting the actual viewpoint of the other person, not a mock up. I can feel the anger, shock, frustration etc together with their track and mine.
19.5 More on Overts
Now for any area where you are having serious difficulty or getting into trouble, check whether there is some harm that you have done and release it using the process given in 19.3 above.
Note that this is not the only reason that things happen to you. All undesired effects are not due to your karma coming home to roost. And it is not the only reason for difficulty in an area.
But if trouble is persisting despite your efforts to confront or handle it, this is one of the prime candidates.
T - Didn't feel that this was an area which required special attention. Covered overts before I started the chapter (see top of page) in some depth to get a bit of charge off.
19.6 Withholds
In withholding things, the being restrains his own actions and cuts down his horsepower...
Get a stack of paper and start writing confessions. Do it in explicit detail. Address them to people or groups that you are withholding things from. Cover anything that you might be withholding from anyone. Especially misdeeds, but even things that you think are justified or for other people's good.
Continue until you feel that you have really told all and are hiding or withholding nothing. You should have a feeling of having opened up completely and purged yourself. Confession is good for the soul.
Then burn them.
Commenced 3/12/99, completed 26/12/99
T - Numerous withholds written up. A big one was when I stole a Santa soap with my younger brother. This may explain when I don't like Christmas. Years later I stole a pair of earrings from a shop and gave them to a girl at school as a Christmas present. I felt justified because I didn't have any money to buy good presents.
19.7 - The Missed Withhold
If a withhold is nearly discovered, it is stirred up. And if you are uncertain as to whether or not it has been found out, that stirs it up even further. In these cases, the withhold is said to have been missed. Somebody almost found it out (or did find out but you are not certain) but missed it. This can cause one's attention to fixate. It is one of the most troublesome phenomena in this area.One may become critical of the person that missed it. This is not the only reason for criticism, but it is a common reason. One is trying to make less of the other person's judgment and credibility because they might reveal one's misdeeds.
Take note, if somebody suddenly becomes highly critical of you without apparent cause (you didn't just wreck their car or something), you might just have missed some hot withhold of theirs. If so, your best course is usually to try to second guess it and attempt to make it safe enough for them to actually tell you.
T - After not being invited to spend Christmas with my family I realised that it was my sister-in-law's withhold that I had missed. When I sent her an email afterwards as to why I had not been invited she became very critical and defensive. She implied that I was blaming her parents for not inviting me, which wasn't the point at all.
To clear a missed withhold, begin by writing out what you did, including the exact time and place and what was done and anything else you are withholding about it. If there was direct harm to another, also confront their viewpoint as discussed earlier.
Then spot who missed the withhold and what they did that missed it. Repeat this, spotting who else missed it until the charge is relieved.
If you can't get it to release, then look for an earlier similar missed withhold.
As mentioned in the previous section, once the charge is really gone you shouldn't have to tell the person but it might be optimum to do so. Get rid of the charge first, because the presence of charge destroys your judgment. After it is gone, take a sane and sensible look at the matter both from your viewpoint and from theirs and evaluate what would be the optimum action.
SUMMARY
R - We're writing this page up in December 2000. Because T goes Clear in chapter 22 I no longer see a need to detail my personal wins. I want to keep the focus on T's gains because they prove the Pilot's Self Clearing book `works' on `new' people. Experienced practitioners may see numerous `errors' throughout this diary. I could easily produce a Folder Error Summary for either of us and probably would have if T had not attained Clear. The major factor in choosing Self Clearing was to minimise the need for help outside that contained in the SC book itself.
I attained Clear and OT with COS years ago but remained very dependent on the church. Self Clearing has considerably enhanced my confidence and abilities. As usual, doing this chapter produced numerous insights for me across the dynamics. One process led to seeing a history of KRC X's - breaks in the triangle of Knowledge, Responsibility, Control. Another one led to seeing how I'd crashed/ruined entire dynamics by opposing them. Another process revealed this gem - `To survive is to keep small and quiet'. Another one led to realising medical operations use force to get compliance on the fifth dynamic (bodies). It's called surgery.
My interest in this chapter faded towards the end as I got extremely interested in raising kundalini. I bought books, did various practices and will write results into the diary at a suitable point, if I succeed. I `squirrel' as long as it doesn't interfere with the Self Clearing (e.g. here are results from doing Electra's Justification Process)
Meanwhile we need to get other diary chapters written up, updated, posted, etc. Thanx for joining us.
(Stay tuned for more!)
| Back to Diary Chapter 18 |
On to Chapter 20 |