CHAPTER 29
HANDLING LOSS
According to early Dianetic theory, incidents of loss rest on incidents of pain because one first has to learn that one can be hurt before one becomes concerned that others can be hurt.
But from the perspective of an immortal spirit, the sequence has to be the exact opposite.
A godlike being who is immune to pain and force could begin to suffer loss as soon as he had decayed to the point where he could not recreate anything at will.
This might include things that he created when he was more powerful and later feels inadequate to create again, or things that were elaborate group creations which he feels incapable of building alone, or it might even include subtler things such as personal relationships (loosing a friend, for example) or esoteric concepts (loosing respect). All of these are potential areas of loss for an almost god who is slightly decayed but who can not yet be hurt or harmed directly.
Pain, on the other hand, is really a mechanism to warn him that there is potential loss endangering a body (or other creation) that he is dependent on and no longer capable of recreating at will. It rests on top of incidents of loss.
You need to raise your confront of loss just as you raised your confront of pain.
But with loss, there may be one or more heavy losses in this lifetime which should not be addressed as incidents until you have run some easier things. Therefore, you may need to take some weight off of them first to keep them out of the way.
29.1 Taking Weight Off of Heavy Losses
Crying allows some of the charge to come off of a loss. When running processes to handle loss, never stop yourself from crying, in fact you should encourage it if possible.
If you do experience a heavy loss, allow yourself to cry if at all possible. If you must suppress tears for some manly reason, let them flow as soon as you are alone.
Do not, however, feel guilty if you cannot cry at the loss of a loved one. This can happen because an earlier similar loss was restimulated, one in which you had already shut down and suppressed your emotions. These things accumulate with time and one gradually becomes numb and emotionally dead.
Anything which allows grief to flow, even slightly, can drain some charge off of this area. If you can cry at emotional music or films, do so.
In handling loss, one either feels numb or grief stricken or feels better. Do not confuse feeling numb with feeling better.
When there is a heavy loss, there is a tendency to take on some of the characteristics of the person who was lost so as to keep them around, so to speak.
Run the following on each major loss in this lifetime which seems to have charge on it. This can include loved ones and allies and important pets and even groups if one felt strong affinity for the group.
If possible, you should start with the easiest one that seems important. But if there is one that holds your attention too much to let you run any others, then go ahead and do that one first instead.
The processes are run in rotation. Run each one for at least 3 commands and then continue as long as it is producing any kind of change or reaction.
Keep cycling through the processes (going back to the first one after finishing the last one) as long as there is any remaining numbness or grief in the area. Continue until you feel better and are not suppressing anything.
29.1.1
Mockup (visualize) the person (or group or whatever) in various positions around you and blow them up. At a minimum, use the six major directions (front, back, right, left, above, and below). Also place them closer and further away. Each time you visualize them, make them explode violently.
29.1.2
Spot places where the person would be safe and visualize them in these places.
29.1.3
Visualize them in various positions around you and mentally connect with and let go of them a few times in each position.
29.1.4
Visualize them in various positions around you and mentally grab them and keep them from going away.
Keep this set of processes up until you feel better. Then pick up another major loss in this lifetime and run that one. Continue until you have cooled down any significant losses in the current lifetime.
29.2 Running Incidents of Loss
Once you have cooled down the current heavy losses as discussed above, you can start running incidents of loss in the same manner that we used for running painful incidents in the previous chapter.
As with pain, you want to start with EASY INCIDENTS and work up to a general confront of loss.
To begin with, run incidents of losing or breaking minor objects.
Then work up to more important things such as losing a sum of money or a valued possession. Leave the incidents of big grief for later.
As with painful incidents, go earlier if the incident gets more solid instead of resolving. Past life losses are easier to confront than current ones and drain charge from the current loss.
With loss, the first moment at which one discovered or was told of the loss is often the key point. But some losses have "dramatic foreshadowing" which forms the earliest part of the incident, such as having a bad feeling as a loved one gets on a plane that subsequently crashes.
You should run incidents in each category until you feel better about that kind of thing and can handle incidents of that magnitude. I'm going to suggest a sequence here but you can put off an area until later if it seems exceptionally difficult.
You should also run some chains of incidents of causing the loss to another or even observing the same kind of loss happening to others.
Once you have handled loss of possessions as discussed above, then run losing games or jobs or situations that mattered to you.
Next run losing friends, pets, minor (rather than major) relationships, distant family, and less significant groups.
Only after doing well on all of this should you take up major losses such as the loss of immediate family, long term mates, or a life orienting group (one which your life revolved around for years and then was lost).
Carry on until you can confront past losses of great magnitude with equamity.
As with painful incidents, there is a point at which your confront will become high enough to handle this kind of thing with simple recall techniques instead of incident running.
This might be better left until a second pass through this book. If you feel that you are up to handling it, go ahead and do one or more of the following steps, otherwise leave them for next time.
You can run past deaths from the viewpoint of being a spirit who is loosing a body. With this you can build up your confront of losing bodies.
You can run major losses of earlier civilizations or earlier universes that you once were a part of and cared for deeply. Sometimes it is being exiled or thrown out, but more often it is simply going off and coming back much later only to find that it is gone or destroyed or hearing the news of its destruction. Especially heavy but not as common is being involved in the actual collapse (especially as a defender) or discovering it going to pieces around you. The key moment is often the first premonition of disaster.
You can also try and get the viewpoint of an early godlike super being and consider what kind of things might have been lost then and run those.