First appeared in International Viewpoints number 42 May 1999
Scientology Case -- South Sweden
By Henry Torsson, Sweden1
I LEFT THE CofS in 1974. I didn't know then how lucky I was. Those who carried on and those who came in later had to go through a lot worse harassment than I did. I was annoyed, to say the least, that I had to close down my missions in Sweden on the island of Ven, Landskrona, Hässleholm and Halmstad. It was called Applied Philosophy Centre Ven and it was running quite well then. But the S.O. just wouldn't let me work in peace. They wanted my pcs. They wanted me in for cramming for out-tech. I didn't agree and I had to fight. I lost. The only way to get them off my back was to demand refund which I never got. But after that they left me in peace and I left. I disconnected from the CofS.
I left Sweden altogether and I haven't been back since. I lived in Austria for 10 years and since then I live in Tenerife. I don't know if I was declared [a suppressive person, Ed.] or not. I didn't care. But I didn't contact any of my pcs, students or staff members after that just in case. I didn't want them to go PTS.
Never regret yesterday
It took me some time before I came to terms with what had happened to me. I thought I had lost everything, lost the possibility to cross the bridge and become OT. But I started to look for other roads to freedom. Meditation, Buddhism, yoga, autogenic training, positive thinking, visualizations, TM, etc. and I even went through regression — or reincarnation therapy when I lived in Munich. I can't recommend that to anyone. I had to run it out later. They used joy sticks, electronic relaxation music with dolphins singing together with someone chanting mantras in the background. I even had a solo can in my hand attached to an E-meter. It probably wouldn't have been that bad, if the "auditor" had known about the comm cycle and the Auditor's Code; in particular "don't evaluate for your pc".
I am quite sure that there are many other roads to find the truth. But I was a scientologist. I knew the basic tech worked—Trs, comm cycle, Itsa, Auditor's Code, etc. I had had great key-outs and wins myself, and I had seen pcs and students having had great wins. I was not prepared to invalidate those wins.
I am sure most of us can key out the Scn bank through meditation or other practices. But there is only one way of getting rid of the charge and that is to run it out2. The truth might be around in many schools of thought. One can hear the truth through channels and read about it in books. It is just that it is an evaluation. It is thinkingness and significance. The truth behind the incidents we have been through on the track just isn't in the books. Your own truth. That truth has to be found. If it isn't, the case will still be there, even if it is keyed-out. The actual charge has to be run out. We all have to learn our own truth. I have to find my own postulates and relate it to my own state of case in this lifetime on planet earth. I have to cognite. Other people's cognitions don't really help me.
TR 0 — A high level of acceptance
In the New Age movement it is very popular to dish out truths. In one book I read: "If you look in the mirror, you see God" That's great! But isn't it a bit out of gradient for most people? It is also popular to promote unconditional love. But is that achievable without having run out the love-hate dichotomy? I don't think so. Someone going out in the street loving everyone and suppressing the opterm3, will project that into the people he "loves" and will probably be hit over the head. You have to have your Trs in to be able to grant beingness to another person. And to get your Trs in you'll have to do Tr 0. You have to be there.
It is lonely out in society when you have been in the CofS. Nobody you can talk to. You had to start using plain English again, or whatever language you were using. People just don't know words like bank, thetans, SPs, PTSs, enemies, Fair Game, overts, total freedom, ethics, ARC, engrams, implants, BTs. Nobody has an ARC break. They are just upset. You had to learn again to work with people who were not interested in spiritual freedom.
Once you are out again, you have usually spent all your money and you have burnt all your bridges. And you have no CV, having spent your best years in a cult called Scn. Who wants to employ a former cult member? Perhaps you have also disconnected from all those people who could have helped you now. Back to square one and worse. Between a rock and a hard place.
Out ethics in the CofS
We had great wins. But then we had great losses and our purposes were thwarted. LRH lost control somewhere along the line and others took over. The Letter "Keeping Scientology Working" (first issued 7th Feb 65) went out badly and was instead used as a justification to misuse tech and ethics.
LRH says: "Now the most basic overt there is is to make somebody guilty of an overt act. That is the most fundamental overt act there is. It's to make somebody guilty of an overt act." (LRH Tape 26 Nov. 59 / IVy 40 page 39).
And that is exactly what happened. Overts were restimulated. Sec checks and evil purpose rundowns were run on clears. I was lucky not to have had sec checks, confessions and evil purpose r/ds done on me and get all my overts restimulated.
But are we prepared to accept the motivator called CofS? If we are, then we keep our own overts in restim. That is not optimum survival. To have a justified motivator keeps the case in place. Many did receive a motivator. The auditors or ethics officers in the church did commit the worst overt there is, which is to make somebody guilty of an overt act.
I took me 25 years before I finally got back. I didn't get back to the CofS, though. But I found people who used Trs, comm cycle, Itsa, and the auditors code. Needless to say, they were old scientologists, ex-scientologists like myself. I know now that there are many different schools using the tech. And it can be done without fear. No straight jackets.
It is a tremendous freedom. The tech can be used with common sense. I got in touch with people using Metapsychology, which seems to me to be a very good alternative. I had some great sessions in the U.K. And I was back on purpose line.
I came back to Sweden after 25 years. I haven't really been here since I left. I wanted to get in touch with my old friends; my old pcs, students and staff members. How were they? What were they doing? Were they still in the church?
No, most of them had left the church; the wounds had been healed. But the scars all looked different. Some had started with yoga, channeling, regressions, hemi-sync, psychosyntesis, meditation, Sai Baba and other things. But all had one thing in common — a failed purpose of magnitude. The purpose we all had when we started with Scn.
A failed purpose
We lost a goal, a purpose and a dream to reach spiritual freedom. We all know what it is. Once it was ours. We were promised that we could get back what we had lost. It was a promise. We had part of that state rehabbed every time we had a key-out or release. Every time we had a win. It brought us closer to our natural state, to our true self, to a state of spiritual freedom. It brought us to a stage where we were not effect of our cases. It was for many of us a feeling of being able to reach the stars. Well, it looked like we were on our road to total freedom. A magnificent goal.
We might all have a slightly different wording of our main purpose when we started with Scn. But just think back on your first cognition. Think back on the first major release. Perhaps it was while reading one of Ron's books. Perhaps it was already during the Comm Course doing Tr 0. The awareness that we are all spiritual beings and that the universe was ours.
Remember the first big win you had. When was it? Where was it? Who was present at the time? What kind of release was it? How many big wins did you have in Scn? 10, 100, millions?
Very few of the people I've talked to are interested in starting to use the tech again, even though it can be done now without having anything to do with the CofS. Most of them were too badly hurt. I might have been in the same situation if I had had to go through the same harassment, if I had been lied to, been betrayed, been pressurized by regs to sign away my money and properties to pay for the next level, if I had been threatened by ethics to lose the possibility to cross the bridge for ever unless I disconnected from friends and family.
The diehards in Scn, those who got out after I did, must have used every possible justification to explain why the church could permit themselves to mishandle their own preclears and staff members. And at one point it stops. One is faced with the bare truth which is terrible to look at. The bridge wasn't completed. It was full of traps and holes and it was paved with SO members, sec checks, regs, ethics officers, confessions, RPFs, disconnections, declarations, evil purpose rundowns, financial ruin, split up 2Ds, betrayal, illnesses, deaths, and Gestapo-like dramatizations. Real good implant tactic. Offer you total freedom and put you in jail.
The question to ask then is obviously: Do I deserve this? Is it worth it? Do I have to go through all this to reach spiritual freedom? And is this really the road to total freedom? Certainly not; not any more. What terrible overts have I committed in the past to deserve this? Do I have any reason to believe that I have committed worse overts than anybody else during the last 4 quadrillion years. No, it doesn't make sense, whatever it was. I don't have to take all this hands down.
Those who thought that their integrity to themselves was more important than anything else, just jumped the bridge. Some would realize that they could actually fly. I have heard of one old friend who kicked his body and left the bridge flying. There might be others I don't know about yet. And that is very sad indeed. If you have to leave your body to get off the bridge, then you have been confronted with pure evil. Another friend, a public pc, told me that he had his mother write to the CofS telling them that her son was dead. That's a better alternative.
Others might have realized that the bridge wasn't so high up in the sky after all and that it was quite pleasant to jump into the water and swim. It wasn't even that cold. Up on the beach one would simply shake off the water and shout: You bastards.
How many friends do we still have in the church? People we actually got into the church, onto the bridge to total freedom. I have a good friend at Flag. A very good auditor. She would now consider me an SP. So obviously I won't contact her. I talked to her mother the other day. She said: "It is so nice over there in Florida. They go into prisons to help the inmates to read and write. It's really nice." I do feel bad about having gotten her into the CofS. When I look at it now, I consider it an overt on my part. As long as she is inside I have an overt in restim. As long as anybody starts to walk on that bridge and falls into traps and holes, I feel that I have an overt in restim.
Our friends might consider us SPs, because we left, because we demanded refund, because they think we are squirrels. Although it certainly is the other way around. I don't mean to say that my friends are SPs. No, the organization is suppressive. And I think I have some responsibility towards my friends. If I don't use the tech I learned for myself and my people, then I have agreed with the church's stamp on me as being an SP.
If we just withdraw into society and forget our friends and all those who join every day to be taken up an incomplete bridge with holes and traps, we are not taking responsibility. I know it is a terrible word. But we do have to take responsibility for our cases. The charge has to be run out. Not just keyed-out. We owe it to ourselves and our friends and fellow beings. The goal Ron had to run out the fourth dynamic engram, which is being dramatized on the planet, wasn't reached. Instead a new engram was run in, a third dynamic engram called CofS.
George Orwell’s 1984 and worse
I know some think that the fourth dynamic engram is only Ron's case. It is just science fiction. But we just need to look around. We look at the television and we can see how the fourth engram is being dramatized big style on the planet. It is written on the wall. 1984. Before long we will be slaves in society if we don't roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty, as Ron used to say. It is up to us. It is up to the Free Zone to run out the third dynamic engram and the fourth dynamic engram and build a better bridge. There isn't one in the CofS.
We must build up free theta outside the church. So much that our friends can feel safe to leave. If we don't, we are not taking responsibility. CofS has nothing to do with the tech and the purpose which was there in the beginning. Now it is betrayal, trickery, implanting, etc. Total Enslavement. We owe it to our friends, to practice Scientology the way it was supposed to be practiced. Should we really let those guys win? I don't think so. But if we are scared of harassment and go into hiding, we do exactly what they want us to do.
Scn tech doesn't belong to CofS at all. It belongs to us. We threw in all the money. We threw in all the work. We sacrificed ourselves. We spent the best years of our lives. It runs on our theta. It doesn't help anyone if we now spend the rest of our lives making the CofS wrong. I know that one of the hardest nuts to crack is when you are made wrong. The CofS made us wrong, awfully wrong. We must get out of that games condition, because every day people are harassed, get ill and some even die. Nothing belongs to the CofS. It belongs to us and we should use it.
Total ARC Break
Apart from one or two of the people I have contacted so far, nobody wants to hear about the tech. There must be BPC on their cases. It was not a question of ARC breaks, or ARC breaks of long duration. It was way beyond. It seemed to me that some people just had a total ARC break. That's the impression I got. Hopefully I am wrong. They have been through betrayal and trickery bigger than all the stupid implant games we played in the past. I was lucky to get out in time, before it really started to go down hill. It didn't take me long to run out the Scn bank once I got in front of an auditor again.
Do you have a total ARC X? Yes! Was it a break in Affinity, Reality, Communication, Understanding? Yes, it was totally. I was curious. I wanted to become a free spiritual being. When I read the first book, I really desired to have it at all cost. That was great. I got on the road to total freedom. I had great wins. But then it was enforced upon me. I had to sell everything I had and more. I moved up the bridge and paid $ 1,000 an hour. Then, when I didn't have any more, I lost it all. Inhibited. It was taken away from me. I was declared SP. It was a total ARC X. A total CDEI. But it was even worse last time around. When was that? A long time ago. Very long time ago. 1984. Worse than 1984.
It is really sad. Just think back to the late 60’s, when hundreds of Swedes came over to Saint Hill to get auditing and training. That was a great time. We were all keyed out then. I did the CC in 68. Then I did the SHSBC. I felt that I was on the road to total freedom and I am sure many with me felt the same. That was a great third dynamic key-out. The big Swede key-out. I still felt great when I started my own mission in Sweden. And I feel I have some kind of responsibility now to all of the people I got into Scn. The friends I got to Saint Hill. The pcs, students and staff I got into my mission. Let's get together again. Let's get out of hiding. We need to be there to take care of the people who are trapped and the ones who have just gotten out of the trap.
I would hate to see the CofS win. They do if we are in hiding. They do as long as we are in a games condition with them. I would love to see all those who have left really leave the church. To really withdraw all the attention units. Just imagine what we could do with all theta which we now waste on the CofS. Trapped in overrun sec checks at $1,000 an hour. Trapped in unreasonable declarations. Trapped in betrayal. Trapped in all those holes and traps on the bridge. They certainly don't deserve it. We have given them enough.